Hello from Andrea

Greetings! I am Andrea, the author of Narcissist-Free.com. In July of 2014, I experienced a horrific discard and spent a full year trying to hide my anxiety, fear, grief, anger and longing while working full-time and raising my son as a single mom. Unless you have experienced emotional abuse, it is very difficult to understand what targets (aka victims, survivors, thrivers) endure. After a year of franticly searching for ways to make the pain and obsession go away, I found exactly what I needed to heal. I started this site in October 2016 (which also happens to be Domestic Violence Awareness Month) to give others the opportunity to heal with the help of the same authors, experts, bloggers, thrivers that I have met along the way. These amazing people fashioned, shaped and guided my recovery. May these same folks guide you too on your journey of emotional wellness.


I met a narcissist ten years ago. We are no longer together. I broke it off a little under two years ago.


This is my story.


I had a baby with him, born 3 months premature. My son stayed in the NICU fighting for his life for 4 months. Not once did his father come, call, or ask how he was. He didn’t even know what I had named him.


That is not the first time. I was alone before. I had a miscarriage prior to that — no him. Years later, another miscarriage — no him. Each time I came to him and told him I was pregnant, he told me there were other options. He did not want a child.


What I didn’t know was that in the 9 years we were together, he had been married and divorced twice and engaged 3 times. He also had 4 other children by 3 other women.


All of this came to light when I started questioning why he would disappear and come back without explanation. He would act like it was no big deal.


I found his Facebook page and questioned him. He called me a stalker and said, “I never told you, you were the only one. Sometimes in life, you have to share.”


Finally, I cut everything off and moved forward when I saw he got engaged to someone else. I went 6 months with No Contact, and then he reached out to me. I fell back in. But my heart was not in it. It felt like he sucked the soul right out of my being. I was always second guessing myself and full of anxiety and anger. I knew I had to get out because I was not me anymore. And then I realized I pregnant. He left, again.


Today I have a beautiful little toddler.


After 15 months of the Narcissist not being around, he popped back up. I allowed him back, not for me, but for my son. I kept my guard up because I didn’t know if there would be a disappearing act as usual. He showed up once he got served with Child Support paperwork, and I smelled a rat. This time he said,  “I want to be a father to our son. I’m not a deadbeat. I want to be in his life.”  He wanted to come get our son every Sunday. He did that for about 3 months. But now that his first payment for Child Support is due next month, 3 weeks have gone by with no-call-no-show.


No more. I won’t allow him to set my son up disappointment. I do not want my son to understand what this man does. It was obvious this was coming — the infamous disappearing act. But I know he is somewhere lurking. He is trying to figure out his next move because he last one did not work. I am recovering day by day. It’s hard, but I do my research on NPD. Since I have a child with him, I want to be ready to fight for my child when the Narcissist goes the legal route. My child is not becoming him. I’m stopping the cycle.


I also have a counselor that helps victims of Narcissistic abuse. These support groups have helped so much. It lets me see I’m not the only one, that I hold worth and value in this world.


I don’t know what the future holds, but I will continue to recover and move forward. The Narcissist does not have the power anymore.

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