Our stories are important. They provide a means through which others can understand abuse in its context, and they connect us to one another. Reading a story helps you feel not so alone and isolated, a stark contrast to how we feel while in the grip of abuse. Our stories offer insight, shining a light on that which is so often hidden and kept secret. Alone in our dilemma, breaking free seems almost impossible. What if you knew you weren’t crazy?
It’s true, to share is often embarrassing, for victims and abusers hold no societal boundaries. Abusers are in all walks of life, and emotional abuse can often be hidden behind a charitable mask of kindness and thoughtfulness. A person with a charming smile or a well-accoladed do-gooder might be the one who belittles your intelligence behind the curtain of normalcy. A person seeking help is just trying to understand what has just happened, and your story might be the rope she clings to for hope.
When we share our stories with the uninformed, we are met with bewilderment, judgement and a lack of understanding. Our families want to help, us but they may not know how. Our friends grab ahold of us, but we stay in our dark corners for it is often much easier to remain than to fight to be free.
Your story might just encourage another to break free. How long does it take? I’m often asked. I’ve been married for years, to leave means my whole life will change. Or I have three kids with him, who will help me survive? Or She is a very popular actress, no one will believe me. Or My church believes I should stay. The dilemmas gone on.
It could be you extending the life rope.
Psychological abuse almost admittedly requires us to keep everything secret. It doesn’t help when we are punished and prosecuted for sharing the truth. We face smear campaigns by the abuser and possible extradition from families when we stand firm in our boundaries. Police and other authorities refuse to believe us, and unfortunately in the US, psychological abuse is not a crime, therefor we withhold stories of our lives that could benefit others. Our stories are not pretty or even believable, or we would have already told them. However, be assured, they do have a place with those who understand.
We might look dramatic, unhealthy, toxic, or crazy. But not here. Narcissist-Free.com is a caring environment, carefully monitored so that you feel comfortable.
Speaking out means taking a risk. It’s not easy, however please realize you have all the strength you need already within. Our stories require courage and strength to share, but remember: it is only a strong and courageous person who can withstand being in any kind of relationship with a toxic person. It takes a special kind of strength to survive abuse. Look at yourself now. You’re here, breathing, living, moving, thinking (and hopefully preparing to write).
The narcissist is not the only person who has two sides. We also have two aspects to our humanness: the broken hurting, anxious, angry self and the one we present to the world, to our children, our bosses, our friends. We act as if we are OK, but inside we are hiding a hurt so deep that no one can fathom how breathtakingly awful it is — as if someone has torn up our insides and left us there to wither away. Sharing your story helps to release that hurt. Exposing the carefully packed away experiences brings light to the abuse and will, in the end, free you from that which seeks to hold you back.
We are united.
Our common bond keeps us supporting one another because we know what it is like.
We are human.
We reacted in ways that put us in a bad light, but we understand one another and do not judge.
We strive to heal.
We are no longer defined by the abuser.
We are vulnerable.
“The greatest desire of every human being is to be fully known and fully accepted. This is love. It is the call of our hearts. Vulnerability allows others to know us with a deeper intimacy—and show even greater love in the process.” – Joshua Becker
Your story challenges others to share their stories.
Vulnerability leads to vulnerability. Admitting weakness and sharing our difficult stories is an incredibly freeing act. It removes burden and weight from our shoulders. And it provides others the freedom and strength to share theirs.
—Joshua Becker, The More of Less
but he convinces you that you don’t deserve love or respect.
but he kicked me out of the car at 12:30 am miles from home knowing my cell phone was dead.
but he kills me from the inside day after day after day...
but he verbally abused me with his flying monkeys.
but he cheated on me when I was 8 months pregnant and then laughed.
but shows no interest, no love, no affection. Acts as if I didn't exist.
but his words are like repeated punches to your face and chest.
but he says something awful to your face, flat out denies it later and makes you feel like you're absolutely crazy.
but you almost wish he did.
but he pulls your hair, calls you names, belittles you, orders you...
but makes you cry as hard as if he did.
but he belittled me, accused me of all the bad behavior he is doing and made me think I was crazy.
but he says you should be thankful that he doesn’t.
but he forbids you to spend time with your family and friends.
but your soul still feels bruised.