Hello from Andrea

Greetings! I am Andrea, the author of Narcissist-Free.com. In July of 2014, I experienced a horrific discard and spent a full year trying to hide my anxiety, fear, grief, anger and longing while working full-time and raising my son as a single mom. Unless you have experienced emotional abuse, it is very difficult to understand what targets (aka victims, survivors, thrivers) endure. After a year of franticly searching for ways to make the pain and obsession go away, I found exactly what I needed to heal. I started this site in October 2016 (which also happens to be Domestic Violence Awareness Month) to give others the opportunity to heal with the help of the same authors, experts, bloggers, thrivers that I have met along the way. These amazing people fashioned, shaped and guided my recovery. May these same folks guide you too on your journey of emotional wellness.

Blessings,
Andrea

Feeling crazy but not understanding why. This is a common theme in narcissistic relationships. Pain, tears, constantly doubting yourself, and feeling unheard and alone — these are not part of a healthy, loving relationship. If you feel pain to great depths in your heart, it’s possible you are in a psychologically abusive relationship.

People in narcissistic relationships have completed the following sentence.

Maybe he doesn’t hit you…

but he convinces you that you don’t deserve love or respect.

but he kicked me out of the car at 12:30 am miles from home knowing my cell phone was dead.

but he kills me from the inside day after day after day...

but he verbally abused me with his flying monkeys.

but he cheated on me when I was 8 months pregnant and then laughed.

yet.

but shows no interest, no love, no affection. Acts as if I didn't exist.

but his words are like repeated punches to your face and chest.

but he says something awful to your face, flat out denies it later and makes you feel like you're absolutely crazy.

but you almost wish he did.

but he pulls your hair, calls you names, belittles you, orders you...

but makes you cry as hard as if he did.

but he belittled me, accused me of all the bad behavior he is doing and made me think I was crazy.

but he says you should be thankful that he doesn’t.

but he forbids you to spend time with your family and friends.

but your soul still feels bruised.

You are not alone.

Many people are in a narcissistic relationship and do not realize it. Others understand they are being silently abused (sometimes there is no physical or verbal abuse) but they do not know how to get out. There is a reason people cannot leave; often it’s for financial reasons or because they fear long custody battles. There is no saving a relationship where one person is a narcissist or is a psychopath. There are no lasting changes that can be had, no coping methods either. This is the grim, sad truth that many survivors have had to face. It’s painful and seems impossible. But it IS possible. I’ve done it and I’ve seen 1000’s of women and men recover and thrive after the relationship ends. There is a long road ahead; it’s scary. But the rewards are so great. Read, study, understand, and pray! There is hope and you will survive. I share this from experience. Read the stories here or share your own. It helps. And follow me on Instagram where you will find more support. Keep going. You are stronger than you know and life on the other side is greater than you can ever imagine.

The fact is, history has shown us that stories not told can become like an evil genie left in a bottle. When they are finally uncorked, their power to destroy is unleashed.

—Bobette Buster